Unconventional yet increasingly popular, rejection therapy is a practice some users on TikTok are using to face their fear of rejection. While the idea may seem intimidating at first, the process is designed to desensitize you to the discomfort that comes with rejection, ultimately helping you to build resilience and confidence. If you’re interested in learning more about rejection therapy or even want to know how to try it, keep reading as we unpack what rejection therapy is, its benefits, and how you can incorporate it into your life. 

What is rejection therapy?

You may have already seen rejection therapy trending on different social media platforms, but what exactly does it entail? Simply put, rejection therapy involves people making requests to others that they will most likely get told “no” to. The aim is to try to expose themselves to as many rejections as possible so that they can overcome their fear of rejection. 

While rejection therapy itself is not an official form of therapy, it does have its roots in exposure therapy, a tried and true psychological treatment for phobias, anxiety disorder (both general and social), panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Individuals are gradually exposed to the stimulus that provokes their fear or feelings of anxiety, and over time, their fear response diminishes. 

Does rejection therapy actually work?

If approached correctly, rejection therapy can offer several benefits. By repeatedly putting yourself in situations where rejection is possible, you gradually stop viewing it as a catastrophic event and instead begin to see it as just another part of life. This may lead to your overall confidence increasing as well as a lowered fear of failure as you’re less likely to become paralyzed by the possibility of failure occurring. Moreover, you gain a better perspective on rejection as you learn to attach less significance to it. 

That being said, rejection therapy is not for everyone, and if you find yourself really struggling with social anxiety, it’s important to seek professional support. Whether it’s a therapist, counselor, or a social worker with the requisite advanced standing MSW online, reaching out to a qualified professional is a great first step to addressing mental health issues. 

How to try rejection therapy

When you first start rejection therapy, it’s important not to jump right into the deep end. Start small with manageable situations that won’t deter you from following through with the process. For example, you could ask a fellow passenger on the train if they have a pen you could borrow, or if you find yourself in a queue, you could ask the person in front of you if you could cut in line. Once these steps don’t provoke as much anxiety as they might have in the past, you can progress to some more challenging requests, such as asking an employee in a store if you can buy something that they clearly don’t sell (for example, asking if you can buy a phone at a furniture store). 

While the point of rejection therapy is to get rejected, it’s equally important to ensure that you’re considerate of others. Avoid putting people in uncomfortable situations or making inappropriate requests. 

After each experience, take some time to reflect on how it went. How did you handle the rejection? What did you learn from the experience? Consider writing down your feelings in a notebook or even the notes app on your phone. Taking the time to reflect on the event that has happened will help you to process your emotions in a safe space. If you’re not much of a writer, you could also debrief with a friend or someone you trust so that you can calm yourself down. 

Rejection therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to anxiety disorders. Of course, it will take much more than just one instance of rejection therapy for you to notice a difference, however if you have tried it out for several weeks and don’t feel like you are getting the desired results (or even feel like you’re feeling more anxious than before), then don’t force yourself to keep going and accept that it might not be for you. After all, there are many other treatments for anxiety out there that may suit you better than rejection therapy.

Rejection therapy can be a transformative experience that can help turn your fear into a strength and open doors to new possibilities. By intentionally seeking out rejection in small, manageable ways, you can reframe your relationship with rejection and become more confident and open to new opportunities. However, it’s important to approach this practice with respect for others and a mindset focused on self-growth.